Teardrops from Nowhere
by crayziexanime
Summary: I shouldn't have said this...I shouldn't have done that...I want her to be her old self again...if only time can erase her pain, as well as mine..." KiraxLacus! R&R please! Chap 4 and 5 is up!
1. Regretful words

**Disclaimer: Nope, Gundam SEED does NOT belong to me.**

**A/N: **Just to let you all know, this takes place 1 year after the Gundam SEED series and before Gundam SEED Destiny.

Chapter 1: Regretful Words

"Oh Athrun…I've said such terrible, terrible things to her…"

The blue haired teen raised his brows. "Her?" he asked in confusion.

"Lacus, I mean…" replied the brunette haired teen in a soft tone.

**FLASHBACK- few days ago**

_"Just stay away from me! I understand you're trying to help me but I don't need your help! For some reason, it only hurts me more when you're next to me. Your smile keeps slipping Fllay away and I want to hold onto her, for she is the only one who understood me! I don't understand why you're trying to make me forget her!" Kira yelled looking directly at Lacus's face._

_The pink haired girl stepped back a bit and looked at Kira with hurtful eyes. She put on a small smile that was about to fade quickly._

_"I had no idea….that my presence only pained you more…" Lacus slowly dropped her head as her bangs covered half of her face. "I know she is an important person to you and, I wasn't trying to take her out of your memories…" her voice trembled as she tried hard not to break down._

_"As you know, I've lost someone I loved in the war as well…and I was so lonely by myself…I wanted someone to be with me letting me know that I'll be alright….."_

_Kira noticed tears fall to the ground as she spoke. "And I thought that Kira-kun might feel the same…"_

_"Lacus….." Kira tried to get closer but she moved back. She tried to avoid looking at him as she turned around._

_"Gomenasai…I promise this'll be the last time you'll ever see me…." Just like that, Lacus left Kira without another word. Kira just stood there, regretting what he had done and how he didn't even get out the courage to ask her for his forgiveness._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"I'm such an idiot Athrun….I've said things I shouldn't have said regardless of how Lacus would feel…" Kira spoke feeling regret.

"It's because of that girl isn't it?" Athrun asked already knowing the answer. Kira nodded without looking at his friend.

"Kira...don't you think it's about time you let her go? You've been like this for the past year."

Kira took a deep breath. "How could I….when I feel responsible for her death…."

"How long do you intend to be like this? Open your eyes to see the things you have right now Kira! Not to the things you've lost!" Athrun practically yelled in frustration. He then let out a sigh. "Cagalli told me yesterday that she met up with Lacus in a café'. She said that Lacus didn't look as cheerful so she asked her if something was bothering her. Lacus refused to say anything but she did tell Cagalli something. Nor she or I didn't understand what she meant by that….but now I do…."

Kira looked up waiting for Athrun to finish what he was about to say.

"Lacus said that she just lost someone who is dear to her….and that she could never look at that person's face no matter how much she wanted to." Athrun looked a Kira, for he knew that his friend knew Lacus was talking about him. "What are you going to do Kira?"

"I….I'll…" Kira stammered his words not knowing what to do.

"You'll go talk to her." Athrun finished his sentence and spoke as if it was a command.

"But Athrun…"

"You'll go talk to her, won't you Kira? Or do you never want to see Lacus again?"

Kira looked up at his friend and gave a light smile. "I will…I just hope Lacus will forgive me….for being such an idiot…." He spoke with determination.

**A/N: I've been wondering, should I add a bit of AC as well? Now, before you go onto the next chapter, could you please review this? PLEASE? **


	2. Too late

**Disclaimer: I wish Gundam SEED belonged to me….but sadly, it doesn't. **

Chapter 2: Too late

Kira's mind dazed as he drove in his car through the heavy rain. Millions of questions raced inside his head but they were all about to be answered when he got to the destination he was heading to.

"It's already 8:30pm…." Kira spoke out loud when he looked at the time. Soon, he got off the car when he reached Lacus's house. Kira ran to her door so he wouldn't get hit much by the rain.

"What will I say…."Kira wanted to hit himself for saying those harsh words to her in the first place. He then ran the doorbell and waited. There was complete silence except for the sound of rain hitting the ground.

"Maybe she's not home…" Kira pushed the button again but no one replied or opened the door. As when he was running back towards his car, he saw a figure sitting on the shore of a beach just nearby. Kira couldn't figure out who it was from all the rain but it was definitely a person. He ran down the beach not caring to get wet and soon saw the back of the person's head.

"Lacus…." Kira instantly knew as he saw her pink hair which seemed darker than usual because of the weather. He walked slowly towards her and stood next to her.

"Why are you out here in the rain?..." Kira asked quietly but she didn't reply back in any way. He sat down next to her and saw her wet hair sticking to her face and covering most of her eyes.

But she seemed to be staring at the dark, gray ocean. "Do you wish for me to leave?..." her hoarse voice asked without looking at Kira.

"I should be asking you that….." Kira looked down at the sand.

Silence wrapped around them as none of them moved or spoke.

"Um…Lacus….I….I'm sorry...that's all I can say….I'm sorry…." Kira stuttered.

Lacus slowly stood up and turned away. "I'll leave now….a promise is a promise…" she then started to walk away. Kira got up and ran after her. He quickly turned her back around and firmly pressed his lips on hers as he held her shoulders. They stood like that for a while, then, Kira gently pulled away.

"Forget that promise Lacus….I was stupid to think that I would be alright…even if I did hold onto Fllay…she would never come back….never…" Kira spoke out how he felt.

Lacus just stood there, emotionless. "Kira….you'll be fine…even without me….I'm sure there will be another day that my smile will hurt you as much as before….I don't want that…I don't want to hear the same words you've said to me…"

"Has my words changed you this much? Can't you just please forget everything I've said?" Kira asked wanting Lacus to return to the way she used to be.

"Forget?...I'm only human….you can't just simply forget if you want to….I'm sorry Kira….if you're expecting to see me smile, it won't be happening…." Lacus turned away once again and walked towards her house. This time, Kira didn't run after her now that he couldn't change her back.

"I'm…..too late aren't I?…." he stood in the rain, wanting the time to just stop and somehow erase everything he regretted.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter was short! But please review! **


	3. Past has nothing to do with the future

**Disclaimer: I didn't create Gundam SEED or anything, I just happen to be a HUGE fan writing a fanfic….**

**A/N:** Sorry that my chapters were very short! When I typed it in Microsoft Word, it seemed longer because the space isn't wide as when I upload the chapter onto I'll try hard to make it longer!

Chapter 3: Past has nothing to do with the future

Lacus sat in her room, across a tall mirror and started blankly into it. She had flashbacks of Kira from now and then. Lacus remembered when she first met Kira on the Archangel, when he cried on her in hard times, and when he kissed her cheek promising he'd come back to her. A tear streamed down from her left eye as she thought about those moments.

"Why does it hurt so much?...This isn't the first time someone said those similar words to me….so why am I crying?..." Lacus asked herself mentally.

Then, she noticed someone ran her doorbell. Lacus stood up and wiped her tear on her sleeve and headed downstairs. She slowly reached the doorknob and twisted it open.

"Hey Lacus, we came to see how you were doing."

Lacus couldn't help but to smile at her companies. "Thank you Athrun….thank you Cagalli….why don't you come in?" she asked politely.

Athrun and Cagalli stepped inside and Lacus greeted them to take a seat on the chairs next to her balcony.

"Lacus, Athrun told me what happened…you know, between you and Kira…" Cagalli spoke out carefully.

Lacus sat from across the two couples and looked down at her hands. She then looked up at them putting up her happiest expression. "Would you like something to drink perhaps?" Lacus asked trying to change the subject.

Athrun sighed. "Lacus, we want to know, what exactly happened. Is there any way we can help?"

"Athrun, Cagalli, you two already have enough to worry about, Kira will be alright….and same goes for me…" Lacus spoke firmly.

"Please Lacus…help my brother….he's not alright…" Cagalli searched Lacus's expression.

"What can I ever do for him?...I don't know what Kira expects from me…he's the one who pushed himself away, and I don't want to drag myself to him when he did that to be away from me."

Athrun and Cagalli had no more to say when they looked at it from Lacus's point of view.

"We'd better get going….sorry for coming to your house without telling you Lacus…" Athrun said as he stood up with Cagalli. "But if you need us, just call ok?"

Lacus rose up from her chair. "Thank you so much…I know you only came here to help…but I think I'll have to deal with this myself. And I hope Kira will do the same…."

Athrun gave a faint smile and looked at Lacus. "You don't need to try so hard to look strong Lacus….you know that right?" he asked expecting for Lacus to smile back, but her smile was too small to see.

"I had no idea it showed that much….." Lacus replied back as all of them walked to the door. "It was so nice of both of you to visit me. Will you come again sometimes?"

Cagalli smiled. "Sure, we'd love to come by again Lacus. Next time, we'll stay longer." Athrun and Cagalli got into their car as Lacus waved at them goodbye.

Athrun took a glance at Cagalli while driving. "You ok?" he asked trying to focus on the road.

Cagalli sighed sadly. "Ever since the war was over, I noticed things weren't going too well for Kira and Lacus….and somehow, I was expecting for this to happen one day…."

Athrun stopped the car on the side of the beach. "Oh Athrun….it's hurting those two so much that I'm starting to think it would have been better off if they never met each other." Cagalli closed her eyes, but then felt a gentle touch on her hand.

"I'll try my best to do something for them…but right now, I think they'll need to sort things out themselves." Cagalli opened her eyes and looked at Athrun who was slightly smiling at her.

"I think so too…." She whispered out.

**

* * *

****Meanwhile….**

"Captain Ramius! W-what are you doing here on Earth?"

The former captain of the Archangel smiled. "It's been a while, hasn't it Kira? How have you been doing for the past year?" Murrue asked still smiling.

"I uh, I've been doing well. But I'm more curious to know about you."

"Well, I was ordered to bring the Archangel back to earth along with all the G-weapons. Wait, let me say that again. G-weapon, not weapons."

Kira blinked a few times in confusion. Murrue laughed. "ZGMF-X10A Freedom is all that is left, remember? So there was no need for it to stay in space."

Kira faced down looking a bit disappointed. "Something wrong Kira?" Murrue asked in confusion.

"Well…I'm sorry….I'm sorry that the Strike isn't here…." Kira slowly talked not wanting to look at her face. Murrue then knew what Kira was saying to her. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"No need to be sorry. And trust me, I think Mu would have said the same."

Kira looked up and saw a smile. "Murrue……" There was a bit of a silence then a question popped into Kira's head. "By the way, where are you keeping the Freedom right now?"

"Uh….I believe Erica has it right now. But I'm not one hundred percent sure."

"Mrs. Simmons has it?..." Then, Kira had a flashback when Lacus first handed him the Freedom.

"Murrue, I have somewhere to be right now….but I hope we'll keep in contact." Kira kind of rushed his sentence.

"Sure, it's been nice seeing you again Kira."

Kira smiled and took off. His heart raced as he drove to Lacus's house as fast as he could. He needed to see her badly. Then, Kira got out of his car and rang her doorbell.

No one answered. He lost his patience and knocked on the door hard. "Lacus!" Kira knew the door would be locked but tried twisting the doorknob anyways. But to his surprised, it opened.

Kira stepped inside and looked around. "Lacus, are you home?" Kira spoke out loudly as his voice echoed through the hall. There was no reply though out the silence. He walked up the stairs and noticed one of the room's door was half way open when the rest were closed.

Kira slowly made his way to that room. "Lacus?" he called out her name as he opened the door all the way.

His heart practically stopped at the terrible sight he saw. Lacus's body laid on the floor face down with blood almost all around her. There was a mirror that was shattered and the small sharp pieces lay beside her, mixing with the blood. Kira walked close to her and fell to his knees. He reached out his trembling hand to her, but her body seemed too fragile to touch.

"L….Lacus…." Kira carefully turned her around and brushed the hair out of her face. He couldn't tell where she was bleeding because it was all over her. Kira wiped away some of the blood on her pale cheek and picked the top part of her limp body into his arms.

"Lacus?" he waited for her to open her eyes but nothing happened. Kira brought his face close to hers and cried. "LACUS!"

**A/N: **Is it ok if I add some AxC moments? Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'll try to make the next chapter LONGER! XD


	4. The end is just the beginning

**Disclaimer: You would be praising me if I owned this anime, but you already know I don't.**

**A/N: **Thanks for all the reviews! I'm trying to make this story as interesting as possible.

Chapter 4: The end is just the beginning

"What have I done to myself?...Most of all….what have I done to her?...It's all my fault….its all….my fault…." Kira thought to himself while looking at his loved one lying on the hospital bed. She had white bandages wrapped around her left wrist and a needle with a thin tube in her, just above the wrist to give her fluid.

Kira kneeled beside her and gently stroke her hand. "I'm sorry Lacus….I'm such a jerk, aren't I? I would let you hit me for all eternity if it makes you feel better..." He then heard someone come into the room and stood up.

"Mr. Yamato, its ok to go home now, Ms. Clyne will be alright."

Kira shook his head is disagreement. "No doctor….I want to stay with her….at least until she wakes up…" The doctor nodded. "Alright then." He went over to Lacus and checked her wrist.

"By the way, you said that there was a mirror shattered when you found her, right?" the doctor asked without looking at Kira.

"Yes, there was." Kira answered back simply.

"Hmmm, well it doesn't seem like she tried to suicide…"

"But then, what happened to her wrist?" He asked feeling a bit unsure.

"The cut on her wrist is rather deep then long, meaning a piece of the mirror just cut her. And I'm pretty sure this wasn't an accident."

Kira looked at Lacus's face. "I see….."

"Something must have been bothering her terribly…." The doctor spoke as he turned to face Kira. "You see, the mind is much more sensitive than the body, there must have been something she desperately wanted to do or say, and maybe just kept it to herself. And when that builds up, your thinking won't become as stable and will lead you to do things you don't mean to do."

Kira couldn't look at the doctor's face. He felt ashamed that he is the one who lead Lacus to do such a dreadful thing. To his ears, the doctor's words were heard as lecturing.

"What Ms. Clyne tried to do wasn't suicide…but who knows what might happen next time…."

Kira didn't want to think. It was too frightening to think that Lacus would ever, ever do such a thing.

"Well, I'd better be going now….I'll be coming back tomorrow to check her wrist again. Goodnight Mr. Yamato." The doctor then stepped out and closed the door behind him.

Kira looked at the floor dully and saw a tear drip to the door silently. "Lacus Clyne…I won't forgive you if you try to take your life…..because of a guy like me….."

**Next morning 7:15am. . .**

Lacus slowly opened her bluish transparent eyes. They glistened as the tiny sunrays hit all over the room. Her vision was blurry but that went away when she sat up and rubbed her eyes. Lacus then noticed the needle and the bandage on her wrist. "How did I…end up here?..." her voice was weak and barely audible since she just woke up. Lacus turned her head to the side and froze at who she saw.

"Kira….." He was asleep on a chair, resting his head on the bed close to Lacus's hand. She lent out a hand to touch his sleeping face but just pulled it back in hesitant. Lacus turned and set her feet on the cold floor and stood up. Her legs felt stiff but she walked over to Kira and draped the thin blanket around his shoulders carefully. Lacus undid the bandage around her wrist and pulled out the needle effortlessly and threw them on the bed.

"Bye Kira…." She whispered as she walked out the room and out of the hospital. Lacus walked slowly along the quiet streets. She stopped and leaned her shoulder and against a wall. "Where am I even trying to go?...Not to mention without any shoes..."She spoke out loud while looking down at her cold, bare feet.

**Meanwhile at the hospital….**

Kira opened his eyes and sat up straight. Then he felt something slide off his shoulders as he looked to see what it was. "A blanket?" Kira looked at the bed but no one was there, just bandages and the needle.

"Lacus?..." Kira got up and when he opened the door to go out, he bumped into the doctor from yesterday. "Doctor! Where's Lacus!" Kira yelled.

"Isn't she in the room?" the doctor asked in confusion.

"No! She's gone! She left the bandages on the bed! I have to fund her…" Like that, Kira ran out down the halls of the hospital looking for Lacus. When she was no where to be found, he knew she wasn't in the building. Kira got in his car and drove down to Lacus's house, thinking she was there. He got in the house since he didn't lock the house when he brought Lacus to the hospital.

"Lacus! Are you here!" Kira yelled as he looked all around. "Come on…where are you?..." He grabbed the phone in the living room and dialed.

"Hello, this is Athrun Zala speaking."

"Athrun! You've got to help me!" Kira blurted out feeling impatient.

"Kira? What's wrong?" Athrun asked in concern.

"Lacus, she's gone! I brought her to the hospital yesterday but she's wasn't there when I woke up!"

"I don't understand, why was she-"

Kira cut off what Athrun was going to ask. "I'll tell you all about it later, but right now, please help me find her Athrun!"

"Alright, have you checked her house?"

"Yea, I'm in her house right now, and she's not here."

"Hmm…try looking around the beach in front of her house, and I'll drive around to look for her as well."

"Thanks Athrun." Kira ended the call and ran out of the house to the beach. He looked around but saw no one there. All he could hear was the beach water gently hitting the shore. Kira sat on the sand and sighed. "Lacus…."

After what seemed like hours, Kira's cell phone rang. He took it out of his pockets and held it to his right ear.

"Hello?"

"Kira, it's me Athrun."

"Oh hey Athrun…I couldn't find her…" Kira said in disappointment.

"I know….she's here with me right now…come over to my place."

**A/N: **LoL, I need to update my other fic Battle Royale. Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Review!

"


	5. Truth behind those eyes

Disclaimer: No, I don't own this anime.

**A/N: **I don't have much to say right now. LoL.

Chapter 5: Truth behind those eyes

"Kira, Lacus is in the bathroom, she won't come out." Athrun told his friend.

"I'll get her out, do you have a key for it?" Kira asked.

"No, if I did, I would have already opened it." Athrun sighed. Kira went over and knocked on the bathroom door. "Lacus, it's me Kira, open the door."

Kira and Athrun both hopfully waited for the door to open, or at least to hear a reply but there was neither.

Kira knocked again a little harder this time. "Lacus! I'm getting tired of this! What do I have to do? Tell me." Kira turned the door knob but it was locked. He looked back at Athrun.

"Athrun, do you have a pin?"

Athrun raised his eyebrows. "You're going to try to open the door with a pin?"

"Yah." He replied simply. Athrun searched around his house and came back with a paper clip.

"I don't have a pin, but will this work?" Athrun asked while handing Kira the clip.

"It'll have to do." He unbent it so that it looked like a sharp edge and put it in the key hole of the door knob. It took a few tries until there came a 'click' sound. Kira turned the door knob and it opened. He saw Lacus sitting on the floor next to the bath tub.

She quickly stood up when she saw Kira. "Lacus, let's get you back to the hospital. Kira stepped closer but Lacus moved to the side.

"I'm not going back. I'll be fine." She said flatly. Kira reached and grabbed her arm and was successful getting her out of the bathroom, but she resisted when he tried to take her to the hospital.

"I told you, I'm not going back! Now let go!" Lacus yelled but she couldn't free herself from Kira's tight grasp. "Let go of me!"

Athrun put a hand on Kira's shoulder. "It looks like it's going to take some time…I'd better get going, I have tons of things to do." He whispered to him.

"You do that Athrun, and thanks."

"No problem, see you later." Athrun then left the house leaving Kira and Lacus.

Kira sighed and let go of her arm. Lacus got back inside the bathroom but when she was about to close the door, Kira stopped her. Instead of dragging her out again, he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Kira locked the door and saw Lacus with an angry expression.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not going to get out until you tell me what's bothering you." Kira spoke while looking at her face.

"Then I'll get out. Lacus tried of reach for the door knob but Kira wouldn't let her through. "I won't let you out either."

"Look, I'm really tired right now, and I just want to go back to my house." Lacus said trying to calm her anger.

"Just tell me, and I'll let you out Lacus."

"Why are you doing this Kira!" Lacus felt frustrated.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Kira, I understand now. I know you don't to forget Fllay Allster and all I am doing is getting out of your way…just like how you wanted me to." Lacus looked away.

"When I saw you wanting to hold onto her so much….I wished that I have been born as Fllay instead…I guess I envied her…"

Kira couldn't believe what he was hearing. He then saw Lacus step inside the bathtub and held the shower handle (A/N: Sorry, I don't know what it's called.) over her head. She turned on the faucet and ice cold water fell onto her and she didn't even flinch.

"I wish I could just drown…." Lacus spoke quietly just enough that Kira could hear it.

Kira's heart felt like melting after he heard how she felt. His hands turned into fists. Kira rushed over and pulled her out of the tub as she dropped the handle with the water still running. "Lacus…" he held her wet body against his, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "Fllay is important to me….but words can't describe how much I love you Lacus….I'm sorry…for everything…I had no idea how much I was hurting you…"

Lacus rest her chin on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She began to cry. "Kira…." She whispered out. Kira and Lacus kneeled to the floor as she cried on him. He got a large towel and wrapped it around her as she cried herself to sleep. Kira stood up and turned off the faucet and scooped Lacus in his arms. He unlocked the door and stepped out.

Kira set Lacus on the couch and watched her sleep. "I hope Athrun won't mind Lacus sleeping in his house for one day." Kira noticed Lacus's cut on her wrist was bleeding again. "Oh no…."

He checked around the house and found some bandages. Kira brought it over and kneeled next to Lacus. He gently grabbed her wrist and started to wrap the bandage around it. Lacus opened her eyes and turned her head to the side and saw Kira.

"Kira…."

Kira looked up at her face. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up, your wrist started to bleed again so…"

"No….I woke up to tell you that…I'm sorry…it felt like…you apologized to me countless times…I just realized it when I was sleeping….so, I'm sorry Kira.." Lacus's voice was small, but Kira heard it clearly since he was close to her.

"There's nothing you should be apologizing for…I'm the idiot who made the mistake, not you Lacus…" Kira was now done wrapping the bandage, but he still held her hand in his.

Lacus tried to smile. "Tell me….would you hold onto me as much as you hold onto Fllay if I died?"

Kira's eyes widened by that question. "Lacus, why would you ask that question?"

"Mmm…I don't know…"

"You have no idea how much I'm holding onto you right now Lacus, you don't need to compare yourself to anyone."

Lacus closed her eyes. "I'll remember that….Kira…"

**A/N:** I've been writing this chapter bit by bit today and well, it feels like a blur. Haha, be sure to read my stories as well! The titles are 'Not meant to be' and 'Battle Royale'(I haven't updated this in a while. ) I hope for more reviews!

"


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